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Constantly criticized, nit-picked, undermined, sidelined, ignored, humiliated, passed over? Read this

Bully OnLine support and discussion forum
Please read this page before subscribing to Bullyonline

In response to many requests I have created an Internet forum BullyOnline at Yahoo!Groups (formerly eGroups). The forum builds on my web site Bully OnLine and my UK National Workplace Bullying Advice Line which have provided information, support and advice to thousands of people and cases worldwide.

The forum is open to everyone and the aim is to provide validation and re-empowerment for those who have suffered work abuse, or bullying anywhere. Joining instructions appear below.

The focus is on identifying, exposing and dealing with the serial bully. We also discuss how bullying, harassment and abuse cause stress, injury to health, psychiatric injury, trauma and PTSD.

The emphasis is on practical steps for taking action to deal with bullying, including the use of grievance procedures, experience in exposing the serial bully, and strategies to gain settlement both in and out of court in those cases where the employer is refusing to deal with the bullying.

I would like Bullyonline to be seen as an action forum in which members share their experience of taking action.

I also encourage people to share their knowledge with employers who are seeking guidance in dealing with bullying. Bullies are adept at creating conflict between those who would otherwise pool incriminating information against them and the ideal outcome is for the employer and targeted employee to join forces to beat the bully.

Healing and recovery from bullying, harassment and abuse are also discussed. Constructive approaches for achieving resolution and closure including referral, recommendation, references etc are an integral part of the support and healing process.

The forum is not suitable for children.

How to get the best from the forum

Before joining the forum I recommend reading my web site Bully OnLine and my book Bully in sight: how to predict, resist, challenge and combat workplace bullying. These two provide you with some of the greatest insight into bullying and how to deal with it you'll find anywhere. Click here for a list of books on bullying, harassment, stress, trauma etc.

My serial bully page describes the bully in at least 90% of cases. Studying this page will help you to see the bully in his or her true light and give you insight into the bully's mindset. It's the lack of knowledge of, or the unwillingness to recognise, or the outright denial of the existence of the serial bully which is the most common reason for an unsatisfactory outcome for both the employee and the employer.

Whether you're an employee or an employer dealing with bullying at work, contact us for a copy of the latest phrases and strategies for identifying and exposing the serial bully. I recommend doing this before participating in the forum.

If you have a question, check the Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) page to see if it's answered there. I'm happy to add more questions and answers to this page.

If you're looking for facts, figures and costs of bullying, see facts and surveys and Advice Line statistics.

There is, in my view, at least an 80% overlap between adult and child bullying. For information on child and school bullying, click here.

Some Do's...

When posting, use plain text. Forum servers cannot always handle emails in rich text or HTML. In Microsoft Outlook Express, select Format then click Plain text. Where forum servers do handle HTML they often prefix and append junk adverts which contain hypertext links which can cause your computers to automatically and repeatedly connect to the Internet.

Please keep your posts short. The longer your posting, the less likely it is to be read and acted upon. Avoid unnecessary detail which distracts from the points you are making.

When asking questions, make them short and specific and place them at or near the end of your post.

When replying to a post, include (if appropriate) only the short section of the previous post to which you are referring. Please do not include large chunks of other people's postings. You may find it easier to create each posting with "New mail". If you use "Reply", please be sure to delete all unnecessary text, repeats of previous postings, junk adverts etc - this is very important.

Some people are irritated by long signatures and they can become tedious if repeated frequently. I suggest that if you want to include your full signature then please do so on your first posting and thereafter just include only your name or initials, unless the posting you are making is enhanced or answered by your full signature.

I prefer people to use their real (first) name. When you choose to remain anonymous, the bully sees this as a sign of your fear. Bullies thrive on other people's fear.

...and Don'ts

Please do not attach files to your posts. Attachments have been disabled. If you want to share a file, use the shared file area at Yahoo!Groups or send it backchannel (privately).

Please do not share long complicated case histories; instead, summarise the main points in a couple of short paragraphs. Anybody who has been bullied will know your case history as they will have had the same experience. If someone asks you for copies of large documents you can always send them backchannel (private email).

Please don't forward to the forum emails containing dire warnings, rumours, appeals and petitions (most will never be sent to their intended recipient) which are doing the rounds. Most are hoaxes, fakes and scams. If you must forward a virus warning, check first that it's genuine and not an urban legend. If you're new to the Internet read this page now before you get caught out.

If you want to unsubscribe, don't send requests to the forum. Instead follow the instructions at the end of each posting: 

To unsubscribe send an email to bullyonline-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

If you have difficulty unsubscribing (eg because you can no longer log on to Yahoo) the moderators can unsubscribe you manually (although I may not be available to to do it immediately).

Guidance

BullyOnline is an open forum for anyone to join and I therefore recommend that you don't share personal details that could cause you embarrassment or distress if repeated elsewhere. Posts to the forum should not be quoted outside the forum unless you have the person's permission. As a guide, I recommend not saying anything on - or off - the forum that you wouldn't want to hear repeated in a court.

Please note that there may be a delay in distributing your first posting to the forum - this is because first posts are moderated in order to exclude spammers and those peddling pornography.

Internet forums provide opportunities for like-minded people to discuss matters of mutual interest; however, forums sometimes attract individuals whose intentions are less than honourable. Beware of anyone claiming to be part of a professional group but who is not providing any substantive evidence of qualification or experience that entitles them to be part of that profession. 

All Internet forums attract bullies who like the anonymity, the opportunities for the exertion of power and control, and the endless supply of vulnerable people on whom to prey. Those who identify and reveal themselves as bullies will be barred from membership.

Dignity and respect for others is a must. On an Internet forum where it is not possible to see or meet others, etiquette sometimes gets forgotten in the heat of the moment. We've all done this at sometime. The best way to respond to provocation is to ignore (ie not respond and not engage) the provocation. Bullies hate being ignored more than anything else!

Who's running this show?

I, Tim Field, am based in the UK, thus my legal experience is UK-oriented. I am not a mental health professional nor am I a legal professional. All information is given in good faith but no responsibility can be accepted. I regret I am not able to become involved in or act in individual cases.

To find out more about me click here. For my philosophy click here.

How do I join?

This page is a summary of how Bullyonline Forum operates; before joining, please spend a few moments reading the FULL RULES AND GUIDELINES which includes joining instruction.


Recommended reading on bullying, harassment and psychological violence

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slience, denial, abuse, thrives, tim, field, forum, support, join**** Over 11,000 copies sold in 30 countries ****
Bully in sight
How to predict, resist, challenge and combat workplace bullying
Overcoming the silence and denial by which abuse thrives

by
Tim Field
Foreword by Diana Lamplugh OBE
ISBN 0952912104
Published by Success Unlimited 1996
Paperback, 16 chapters, 384 pages, resources, index
Click book cover (left) for more details

"Will be eagerly read by those waiting for an update [to Andrea Adams' book]"
Times Educational Supplement 7/3/97
"Powerful, compassionate, practical" Nursing Times, 1/1/97
"Bully in sight is a Godsend. I think you're the only person in the world who really understands what happens when you're bullied at work. As a result of your book personnel are starting to take me seriously for the first time, management are backtracking (they were threatening to dismiss me) and the bully (a power freak who's destroyed several predecessors) is looking stressed for the first time in her life. I can't thank you enough."
(UK employee)

Readers' feedback and comments.

Written with the experience and insight only a fellow experiencer can impart, Bully in sight:

Confirms and validates your experience of bullying when those around you are trying to deny it
Enables you to regain your sanity, stability and objectivity
Offers practical advice throughout, is rich in content and free of psychobabble
Invigorates you with insight and information
Teaches you that you are not alone in your experience of being bullied
Identifies and describes the injury to health caused by bullying and harassment
Enables you to overcome the feelings of shame, embarrassment, fear and guilt that bullies use to control you
Re-empowers you so you are able to regain control of yourself, your situation, and your life
Provides the means for you to break the bully's hold over you
Explains to partner, family and others the hell you are experiencing
Assists you with the legal process including case law for constructive dismissal
Helps you restart your existing career or start on the path to a new career
Is packed with insight, ideas and direction, plus sources of help and suggested reading

Bully in sight identifies bullying as the common denominator of harassment, discrimination, prejudice, abuse, conflict and violence, and describes the principal perpetrator of psychological violence, the serial bully.

Order a signed copy:
 Online with secure credit card ordering
 By fax or letter with printed order form


Recommended reading on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and recovery from trauma

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Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
The invisible injury, 2005 edition

by
David Kinchin

ISBN 0952912147
Published by Success Unlimited 2004
Paperback, 16 chapters, 224 pages, resources, index
Click book cover (left) for more details

"This is the book I so badly wanted when I was traumatised."
David Kinchin, Author

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: the invisible injury provides clear, practical advice for recovery from major traumatic experiences, including violence, harassment, assault, rape, accident, fire, explosion, disaster, or witnessing such events.

PTSD is a natural emotional reaction to a deeply shocking and disturbing experience. The symptoms are surprisingly common and include sleep problems, nightmares and waking early, impaired memory, inability to concentrate, hypervigilance (feels like but is not paranoia), jumpiness and exaggerated startle response, fragility and hypersensitivity, irritability, violent outbursts, joint and muscle pains, panic attacks, fatigue, low self-esteem, exaggerated feelings of guilt, feelings of nervousness and anxiety.

David Kinchin's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: the invisible injury is a revised and updated edition of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: a practical guide to recovery published by Thorsons in 1994.

Order a copy:
 Online with secure credit card ordering
 By fax or letter with printed order form


Where now?
Lots of information and ideas for tackling bullying including the legal aspects
Action Home Page | Action to tackle bullying
Guidance for employers on policy development
Bullying and the trade unions | Bullying and the law
Case law on bullying, harassment, stress and personal injury
Court judgements in cases relevant to bullying
Long v. Mercury Mobile Communications Services
Hatton Barber et al: 16 practical propositions for a personal injury case
Right to be accompanied | The need for risk assessment
High Court injunction to prevent unfair dismissal | Obstruction to justice
Bullyonline action forum for validation and re-empowerment
UK Dignity at Work Bill | Swedish law on Victimization at Work
Bullying and human rights | Waters v. London Metropolitan Police
Barber v. Somerset County Council
Zimmerman: retaliation in the US courts
Bullying history: books, articles and publications since 1992
How to lobby your MP: example letter and summary of inadequacy of UK law
Amicus Campaign Against Bullying At Work (CABAW)
Tim Field's written submission to the Dignity at Work Bill debate
Getting another job after bullying | How to recover from bullying
Setting up a bullying survivor support group | Sample support group constitution
Using the search engines to find other sites on bullying etc
Dealing with viruses, worms, spam etc
Designing and building your own web site
Advice and guidance for new Internet users
Tim Field's book Bully in sight validates the experience of bullying and
defines the injury to health caused by bullying and harassment

Home Pages
The Field Foundation | Bully OnLine
Workplace bullying | School bullying | Family bullying
Bullying news | Press and media centre
Bullying case histories | Bullying resources
Stress and PTSD
Action to tackle bullying | Related issues

Success Unlimited
Books on bullying and psychiatric injury