Phrases which you may find useful for tackling bullying - modify as appropriate (no responsibility accepted!)

Bullies distort, concoct and fabricate criticisms and allegations with which to torment their current target. The false nature of these criticisms etc can be teased out with:

"Your criticisms and allegations are specious and lack substantive and quantifiable evidence."

Always demand substantive and quantifiable evidence. Watch out for allegations changing or being withdrawn when challenged.

The bully uses and hides behind the employer, portraying him/herself as acting on behalf of the employer. However, bullying is not a two-way fight (employer v. employee) it's a three way fight (employee v. bully v. employer) with the bully encouraging the employer and employee to fight each other whilst they (the bully) look on. The bully gains gratification from seeing people destroy each other.

Phrases:

"By the way s/he chooses to behave, s/he prevents employees from fulfilling their duties/undertaking their studies."

"By the way s/he chooses to behave, s/he brings her/himself, the staff, the department and the employer into disrepute."

"The purpose of bullying is to hide inadequacy; those who choose to use bullying behaviours are therefore revealing and admitting to their inadequacy"

"The bully's constant nit-picking and fault-finding prevents employees from fulfilling their duties and is a breach of the implied term of mutual trust and confidence"

"Your criticisms are based on trivia; choosing to focus obsessively on trivia reveals unsound judgement and is one of the ways bullies identify and reveal themselves."

"Your criticisms and allegations are a projection of your own failings and shortcomings."

If an employee has been subjected to fabricated or distorted criticisms or allegations or is facing unwarranted disciplinary action imposed by the bully, the following phrases might be of use in exposing the bully:

"On [date] you made the following criticism/allegation which you are now seeking to use as the basis for imposing a verbal/written warning: [Include details of allegation here]. I now ask you to provide me in writing within seven days with substantive and quantifiable evidence in support of your criticism/allegation."

When no written substantiation is provided, write again:
On [date] you made [reiterate your previous letter]. I note that you have chosen not to substantiate your criticism/allegation as requested. I now ask you again to provide me in writing, within 48 hours, with substantive and quantifiable evidence in support of your criticism/allegation.

When no written reply is received, write again:
"On [date] you made [reiterate both previous letters] I now ask you to withdraw your criticism/allegation and provide me with evidence in writing that you have done so. I remind you that making allegations and refusing to substantiate them in writing is a form of harassment. Such harassment prevents employees from fulfilling their duties."

If the employee is subjected to this tactic again at a later date, include in the first letter a reminder of the previous occasion (remember it's the patterns of behaviour that reveal bullying)
"I note that you have chosen to make another trivial, specious and insubstantive criticism/allegation about [employee]. I remind you of our correspondence of [date] when you were unable and unwilling to substantiate your criticism/allegation. I remind you that in my letter of [date} I pointed out that making unfounded, misrepresented or fabricated criticisms/allegations and refusing to substantiate them in writing is a form of harassment. Such behaviour is contrary to your contract of employment."

When dealing with a serial bully, avoid detail, which the bully will use to confuse and obfuscate as well as to distract and divert attention. Focus on the contractual and legal aspects.

There are three types of etiquette: social etiquette, business etiquette, and legal etiquette. The next term in this series is nuclear war. Keep that in mind. The etiquettes overlap but are not the same. Do not use social etiquette for business and legal situations, especially when there is conflict in the air.

If you're dealing with a serial bully, a bit of digging into the bully's past, including home life and childhood, might produce some unsavoury facts that the bully does not want repeated in court. Under normal circumstances this would be considered unethical, but the circumstances - which have been chosen by and are driven by the bully - are not normal. You are in a position which is not of your choosing, not of your making, and not under your control. The bully has chosen to behave in a manner which has brought you into the arena of legal etiquette and is causing you to incur vicarious liability.

In most cases there is a can of worms behind the case which explains the bully's increasing paranoia as you start to open that can. The worms may include: negligence, incompetence, misappropriation of budgets, financial irregularities, fraud, breaches of health and safety regulations, breaches of codes of conduct, inappropriate sexual conduct, previous grievance and disciplinary action, previous legal action (unfair dismissal, harassment, personal injury), fraudulent qualifications and misleading or bogus professional affiliations, collusion, corruption, being sacked from his/her previous job, etc. The serial bully is likely to be an abuser outside the workplace as well as at work: s/he may be a spouse batterer, a child abuser, or worse. Serial bullies often have a bad credit rating.

If you identify the employee as a serial bully with a history of bullying (including compulsive lying etc), you might like to insist that s/he undergoes a psychiatric evaluation by a psychiatrist experienced in administering the Hare Psychopathy Check List - Revised (PCL-R).

Remember the bullies' Achilles Heels:
compulsive need to bully: the bully has to have a target onto whom to displace aggression - s/he can't survive without a current "victim" - past behaviour is characterised by always having a target - find and highlight this
obsession: once the bullying has started they can't let go - they can't stop, even if they wanted to
obliviousness: they can't see their own behaviour or its effects on others, they can't see or understand the patterns which betray their behaviour
mimicry: has its limitations, especially in attempts at empathy and humour - eg irony usually provokes an aggressive response
arrogance: the bully has always got away with it and fully expects to continue getting away with it
patterns of behaviour: it's the patterns which reveal intent
predictable response: when called to account, the bully often resorts to the denial-counterattack-feigning victimhood (tears) tactic to avoid answering the question - normal, mature, adult, professional people do not do this
cowardice: whilst the bully is on top, the bullying continues unabated; when you call the bully to account with disciplinary or legal action and the threat of public exposure, the bully sometimes runs away
paranoid fear of exposure: more than anything else, the bully seems to fear public exposure which enables those s/he has deceived to be able to see through the deception

Study the serial bully's CV carefully and check all the claimed qualifications and affiliations - it's surprising how often these are ambiguous, exaggerated, or fraudulent. For example, "I undertook an MBA" or "I studied a degree in x" may mean that s/he dropped out before completing the course, or failed to gain the qualification.

Recognise your own Achilles Heels: naivety, guilt and dependency. Learn to identify them and get them under control.

Remember that naivety is the greatest enemy. Decide if your adversary is a serial bully, and if so, remember that you are dealing with a disordered personality. Read carefully the page at workbully/serial.htm
With a serial bully, normal rules of social etiquette do not apply.

Tim Field
Webmaster, Bully OnLine at Bully Online
Author, Bully in sight: how to predict, resist, challenge and combat workplace bullying
January 2003