Overwhelming feelings of guilt for being bullied? read this
Bullies and abusive people are control freaks, and guilt is a universal method by which bullies control others. Guilt is the primary instrument of manipulation.
For many people, guilt is a learned behaviour, picked up in childhood by observing responsible adults. Some people grow up to become guilt throwers (people who use guilt regularly to control people), whilst others grow up to become guilt catchers (people who are particularly prone to feeling guilty). When you are in the long-term company of people who regularly use guilt to control you, it's normal to become hypersensitized to guilt. In such a situation, you may feel you are constantly walking on eggshells.
Guilt is the method by which religious organisations, especially the Roman Catholic Church, control their flock. Encourage a person to feel guilty and you can manipulate them into thinking, believing or doing anything. However, whenever you use guilt to control someone, everybody will feel bad about it, especially the person using guilt. Guilt is the Great Destroyer; in short, guilt sucks.
Guilt manifests as an uncomfortable feeling which is hard to identify and difficult to articulate. It's a feeling that you have done, or may have done, something wrong, although precisely what you have done, or been encouraged to believe you have done, may be elusive.
There is nothing to feel guilty about if you are being bullied. When you read the reasons why you're being bullied, you'll realise that being selected for bullying is a compliment, albeit a perverse one. See the profiles of serial bullies and other disordered personalities to gain an insight into the types of persons who uses guilt to control you. If bullying and consequent guilt is an issue in the family, click here.
Undue levels of guilt are a common symptom of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Browse Bully OnLine and overcome guilt to re-empower yourself with knowledge and insight. Start with Am I being bullied? and then find out Why am I being bullied? - the answer may surprise you. See the myths about bullying deconstructed and find out answers to frequently-asked questions about bullying.
Definition of guilt.
When I Say No, I Feel Guilty: how to cope, using the skills of systematic assertive therapy, Manuel J Smith, Bantam USA, ISBN 0553263900, 1985
See Gael Lindenfield's range of books including Assert Yourself, Superconfidence, Managing Anger, and more.
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